Zelda inboxes
by XEmoMidnaX
Summary: Messages sent to Zelda characters from random places... Rated T for some rude stuff. I think the nicknames are pretty obvious. R&R please, flames will burn Link and no-one wants that. Some Final Fantasy and Mario characters.
1. Link's inbox

**Link's inbox **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, Final Fantasy or Mario. This is mostly Zelda by the way. And myself. **

Link's inbox

_You have got 25 messages_

"Oh maaan... well, let's read these babies."

* * *

1. From PrincessofHyrule: Link, send a helicopter down to Gerudo Desert, I'm kinda stuck...

* * *

2. From OneWingedAngel: Yo-yo-yo my long eared pal, it's Sephy. Tell my cousin Vaati that that girl he fancies, you know, Sherlotta is pregnant and he's the daddy.

* * *

3. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hey babe, guess what! I've got a fan forum and OHMYGOD there's porn here...

* * *

4. From KingofShadow: Link, your girlfriend just fainted and you should get on MFF man, there's porn yay!

* * *

5. From I'maDarkLink: LINK YOU ARE DEAD MAN! I'm getting glomped by Ruto; you know the one YOU are engaged to.

* * *

6. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: I WANT TO RAPE YOU!

* * *

7. From I_Can_Make_Crystals: Link, tell Vaati he's going to be a daddy.

* * *

8. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Ignore that message from Zant please, thank you.

* * *

9. From I_love_Link: Link, I LOVE YOUUU! I'm Ilia by the way.

* * *

10. From Horsey: Link, can you get Epona away from Ilia or I'll kill you.

* * *

11. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!

* * *

12. From Purple_Picori: LINK I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY! HELP!!!!

* * *

13. From Kokiri-gurly: Link, get your ass down here now.

* * *

14. From I-Must-Have-Treasure: Link, can I use that Fused Shadow thing? I like it.

* * *

15. From PrincessofHyrule: Liiink, please! I'll die!

* * *

16. From Zora_Ruto_kid: Link, we're through. Darky is so much nicer!

* * *

17. From I'maDarkLink: Link, I hate your guts now...

* * *

18. From Mario: I just saved Zelda, be happy.

* * *

19. From Dark-Lord: I pwned Mario and kidnapped Zelda, Muahaha!

* * *

20. From OutsetAryll: Link, granny went into an old persons home so I'm coming to live with you.

* * *

21. From The-King: MAH BOI! I wander what's for dinner?

* * *

22. From PrincessofHyrule: Ganon just kidnapped me.

* * *

23. From Strife: Mah hair is still awesome!

* * *

24. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: I love you cutie, want dinner at mine 10:00 pm Saturday?

* * *

25. From XEmoMidnaX: Link, gimme Midna's e-mail please. Vaati's going to be a daddy? Awww!

* * *

"Uhhh..."

* * *

**Reviews will make Link get off his ass and reply. **

* * *


	2. Link's replies

Link's replies 

1. From PrincessofHyrule: Link, send a helicopter down to Gerudo Desert, I'm kinda stuck...

Hero-of-Time answers: Good.

* * *

2. From OneWingedAngel: Yo-yo-yo my long eared pal, it's Sephy. Tell my cousin Vaati that that girl he fancies, you know, Sherlotta is pregnant and he's the daddy.

Hero-of-Time answers: Okay, I'll let him know.

* * *

3. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hey babe, guess what! I've got a fan forum and OHMYGOD there's porn here...

Hero-of-Time answers: Those fiends! Anyway, congrats.

* * *

4. From KingofShadow: Link, your girlfriend just fainted and you should get on MFF man, there's porn yay!

Hero-of-Time answers: Get a life man, seriously.

* * *

5. From I'maDarkLink: LINK YOU ARE DEAD MAN! I'm getting glomped by Ruto; you know the one YOU are engaged to.

Hero-of-Time answers: I think you'll make a great couple.

* * *

6. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: I WANT TO RAPE YOU!

Hero-of-Time answers: So uh, Re-Deads can type now? Help...

* * *

7. From I_Can_Make_Crystals: Link, tell Vaati he's going to be a daddy.

Hero-of-Time answers: Okay Sherlotta and congrats.

* * *

8. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Ignore that message from Zant please, thank you.

Hero-of-Time answers: Anything for you cupcake.

* * *

9. From I_love_Link: Link, I LOVE YOUUU! I'm Ilia by the way.

Hero-of-Time answers: I'm getting a restraining order.

* * *

10. From Horsey: Link, can you get Epona away from Ilia or I'll kill you.

Hero-of-Time answers: With pleasure Malon.

* * *

11. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!

Hero-of-Time answers: Do you have anything better to do?

* * *

12. From Purple_Picori: LINK I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY! HELP!!!!

Hero-of-Time answers: I know man, congrats. Uh, take deep breaths this is a big thing.

* * *

13. From Kokiri-gurly: Link, get your ass down here now.

Hero-of-Time answers: Why Saria? Did Mido die? (Please say Mido died.)

* * *

14. From I-Must-Have-Treasure: Link, can I use that Fused Shadow thing? I like it.

Hero-of-Time answers: Sure, if you're suicidal.

* * *

15. From PrincessofHyrule: Liiink, please! I'll die!

Hero-of-Time answers: Excellent.

* * *

16. From Zora_Ruto_kid: Link, we're through. Darky is so much nicer!

Hero-of-Time answers: Thank Nayru!

* * *

17. From I'maDarkLink: Link, I hate your guts now...

Hero-of-Time answers: Darky and Ruto sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

* * *

18. From Mario: I just saved Zelda, be happy.

Hero-of-Time answers: HOW DARE YOU! DIE!

* * *

19. From Dark-Lord: I pwned Mario and kidnapped Zelda, Muahaha!

Hero-of-Time answers: Thanks Ganny. I owe you one.

* * *

20. From OutsetAryll: Link, granny went into an old persons home so I'm coming to live with you.

Hero-of-Time answers: Okay Aryll, see you then... dear Nayru, you have bad grammar.

* * *

21. From The-King: MAH BOI! I wander what's for dinner?

Hero-of-Time answers: Oh boy, I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok.

Oh, and you spelt 'wonder' wrong.

* * *

22. From PrincessofHyrule: Ganon just kidnapped me.

Hero-of-Time answers: I don't give a damn to be honest...

* * *

23. From Strife: Mah hair is still awesome!

Hero-of-Time answers: Whoo, rock on Cloudy!

* * *

24. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: I love you cutie, want dinner at mine 10:00 pm Saturday?

Hero-of-Time answers: Yup, I'd love to baby. Speaking of babies, Vaati's a daddy...

* * *

25. From XEmoMidnaX: Link, gimme Midna's e-mail please. Vaati's going to be a daddy? Awww!

Hero-of-Time answers: Sure thing, it's Link's_eternal_.Twilight. News spreads fast...

* * *

**Review please, I need to know which character to do next. Oh, and Midna's e-mail is fake. **


	3. Zelda's inbox

**Emo here. If you guys have any e-mail for a Zelda character, let me know and I'll include it. This is Zelda next, then I'll be doing Ganny and after that, Midna. So think up some e-mails for those two and enjoy Zelda's. **

* * *

Zelda's inbox

_You have 25 messages_

"Aww, I'm appreciated!"

* * *

1. From Dark-lord: Just so you know, we're having roast Cucco for dinner. Be in the hall at 5:00 sharpish.

* * *

2. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Link's mine. Miney, miney, mine. Snap, snap, you got the picture?

* * *

3. From Mr-Fairy-guy: Tell Link I love him.

* * *

4. From Purple_Picori: I'm a daddy!

* * *

6. From anonymous: I want to post porn of you all over the internet.

* * *

7. From Hero-of-time: Saria said you wanted to kick my ass to Termina and back...

* * *

8. From I'maDarkLink: Zelda, baby listen. Ruto has the hots for me but we're still together okay.

* * *

9. From KingofShadow: Go to MFF there's porn.

* * *

10. From Guys_love_my_bust: Zelda, I just wanted to notify you that my wedding is soon and I want you to provide us with your best goat for the sacrifice.

* * *

11. From Kokiri-gurly: Why do you want to kick Link's ass anyway?

* * *

12. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: Where's Link, I want to rape him?

* * *

13. From The-King: Zelda, Duke Onkard is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.

* * *

14. From Zelda's-Nanny: Zelda dearie, the dog ate your tampons. What kind to you use?

* * *

15. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LOOK!

* * *

16. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Zelda, I know you hate me, but do you have any spare Tampons?

* * *

17. From XEmoMidnaX: Midna is awesome, you suck on OoT.

* * *

18. From Ihadtochangemyname: I had to change my name so Link doesn't know it is me... It's Ilia.

* * *

19. From Skull-Kid: BRAINS!

* * *

20. From PrincessofHyrule: Har har, I hacked into your system and told everyone you fancy Ganon.

* * *

21. From The Hyrule Tax Company: Princess Zelda, you owe us 22,000 Rupees. If it is not paid by next month, we will have to make you work on Ordon Ranch. Thanks,

Bob Bobbington, head of the Hyrule Tax Company.

* * *

22. From I_Can_Make_Crystals: I'm pregnant!

* * *

23. From Zora_Ruto_kid: I got off with your boyfriend sucker.

* * *

24. From OutsetAryll: I baked cookies, you want some?

* * *

25. From Zelda_Fan_Boy: Can I have a photo of you naked please?

* * *

**So R&R and think up some e-mails for Ganny and Midna. **


	4. Zelda's replies

Zelda's replies

1. From Dark-lord: Just so you know, we're having roast Cucco for dinner. Be in the hall at 5:00 sharpish.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Mmm, how'd ya know that that's my favourite?

* * *

2. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Link's mine. Miney, miney, mine. Snap, snap, you got the picture?

PrincessofHyrule answers: Good for you Midna. Good for you.

* * *

3. From Mr-Fairy-guy: Tell Link I love him.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Oh yes Tingle, I will.

* * *

4. From Purple_Picori: I'm a daddy!

PrincessofHyrule answers: Congrats Vaati hugs and kisses all 'round.

* * *

6. From anonymous: I want to post porn of you all over the internet.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Good luck finding any.

* * *

7. From Hero-of-time: Saria said you wanted to kick my ass to Termina and back...

PrincessofHyrule answers: And you care why? I do want to, but keep your nose outta my business.

* * *

8. From I'maDarkLink: Zelda, baby listen. Ruto has the hots for me but we're still together okay.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Good. Tell Ruto to get a life.

* * *

9. From KingofShadow: Go to MFF there's porn.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Midna porn? Zant, I'm not a lesbian.

* * *

10. From Guys_love_my_bust: Zelda, I just wanted to notify you that my wedding is soon and I want you to provide us with your best goat for the sacrifice.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Okay Tifa, I'll send one over.

* * *

11. From Kokiri-gurly: Why do you want to kick Link's ass anyway?

PrincessofHyrule answers: Because he got off with Midna.

* * *

12. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: Where's Link, I want to rape him?

PrincessofHyrule answers: He lives in Ordon Village in the tree house. If you see a red haired bitch there, scream at her so loudly that she goes deaf.

* * *

13. From The-King: Zelda, Duke Onkard is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.

PrincessofHyrule answers: But father, what if something happens to you.

* * *

14. From Zelda's-Nanny: Zelda dearie, the dog ate your tampons. What kind to you use?

PrincessofHyrule answers: Tampax.

* * *

15. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LOOK!

PrincessofHyrule answers: Go annoy Ruto or Midna, will you?

* * *

16. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Zelda, I know you hate me, but do you have any spare Tampons?

PrincessofHyrule answers: Even if I did I would lend them to you, because I hope you bleed to death. And no, the dog ate them.

* * *

17. From XEmoMidnaX: Midna is awesome, you suck on OoT.

PrincessofHyrule answers: I know, everyone loves Midna...

* * *

18. From Ihadtochangemyname: I had to change my name so Link doesn't know it is me... It's Ilia.

PrincessofHyrule answers: And I care, why?

* * *

19. From Skull-Kid: BRAINS!

PrincessofHyrule answers: Since when did you become a Zombie?

* * *

20. From PrincessofHyrule: Har har, I hacked into your system and told everyone you fancy Ganon.

PrincessofHyrule answers: CURSE YOU!

* * *

21. From The Hyrule Tax Company: Princess Zelda, you owe us 22,000 Rupees. If it is not paid by next month, we will have to make you work on Ordon Ranch. Thanks,

Bob Bobbington, head of the Hyrule Tax Company.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Oops... I'll send you the cash, expect it tomorrow.

* * *

22. From I_Can_Make_Crystals: I'm pregnant!

PrincessofHyrule answers: Congratulations Sherlotta!

* * *

23. From Zora_Ruto_kid: I got off with your boyfriend sucker.

PrincessofHyrule answers: Note to self, add Ruto to killing list.

* * *

24. From OutsetAryll: I baked cookies, you want some?

PrincessofHyrule answers: Uh, no thanks, I'm dieting.

* * *

25. From Zelda_Fan_Boy: Can I have a photo of you naked please?

PrincessofHyrule answers: I don't like little perverts. So, no!

* * *

**Reveiw! And get some questions in for Ganon!**


	5. Ganon's inbox

**A/N: Finally, I got back to this fic. I know it's shorter, but I'm so tired... And I didn't get many questions, so please give me questions for Midna. **

* * *

Ganon's inbox

You have 15 messages

'' Oh great, more fan girls..."

* * *

1. From Ganondorf-fan-girl: GANONDORF, I WANT TO KISS YA BABE!

2. From KingofShadow: If you want Midna porn, go to Midna Fan Forum!

* * *

3. From Purple-Picori: I'm a bloody father Ganondorf.

4. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hey Ganon, I've a favour to ask of you. Can you RAPE ZELDA IN HER SLEEP!?

* * *

5. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: I WANT TO RAPE LIIINK AND MIDNA TOLD ME TO RAPE ZELDA! WHERE ARE THEEEY!?

6. From Vaati's_ex_Veran: I read on Zelda's blog that you're going out with her. Eww man eww.

* * *

7. From PrincessofHyrule: Ganon, I DON'T LOVE YOU! Oh, and can you rape Midna in her sleep, if you can catch her naked without Link.

* * *

8. From Hero-of-Time: Donkey XD

* * *

9. From I'maDarkLink: Uh, please don't rape my girlfriend; I want to do it myself.

* * *

10. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LOOK!

* * *

11. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hee hee hee, I'm high on Helium at the moment, my voice sounds so funnay!

* * *

12. From XEmoMidnaX: Hey Ganon, just so you know there is an army of Mini-Midnas coming to kick your ass...

* * *

13. From Zora_Ruto_Kid: Ganon, can you e-mail Dark Saying I love him, I'm blocked from his list.

* * *

14. From: KingofShadow: By the way, when your were round last, you left your porno mag at mine, when should I deliver it?

* * *

15. From Midna Hytwilian: Um Ganondorf...do you know where my bathing suit is? I think I left it at your place when you had that party...whoops.

* * *

Oh, thanks Midna Hytwilian for giving Ganon and Midna messages.


	6. Ganon's replies

**A/N: Yes, thank you for reviewing guys. I will include every e-mail you send to the character you are sending it to. Midna's is going to be much longer. For now, here are Ganny's replies. **

Ganon's replies

1. From Ganondorf-fan-girl: GANONDORF, I WANT TO KISS YA BABE!

Dark-lord answers: I thought I got a restraining order from you girls.

2. From KingofShadow: If you want Midna porn, go to Midna Fan Forum!

Dark-lord answers: Aye-aye Captain.

3. From Purple-Picori: I'm a bloody father Ganondorf.

Dark-lord answers: Good for you my purple pal.

4. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hey Ganon, I've a favour to ask of you. Can you RAPE ZELDA IN HER SLEEP!?

Dark-lord answers: Do it yourself.

5. From IWANTTORAPEYOU: I WANT TO RAPE LIIINK AND MIDNA TOLD ME TO RAPE ZELDA! WHERE ARE THEEEY!?

Dark-lord answers: Link's in Ordon, Zelda is kissing my feet.

6. From Vaati's_ex_Veran: I read on Zelda's blog that you're going out with her. Eww man eww.

Dark-lord answers: Well, I'm not Veran, so suck it.

7. From PrincessofHyrule: Ganon, I DON'T LOVE YOU! Oh, and can you rape Midna in her sleep, if you can catch her naked without Link.

Dark-lord answers: Good and no, I don't rape.

8. From Hero-of-Time: Donkey XD

Dark-lord answers: Link, are you alright?

9. From I'maDarkLink: Uh, please don't rape my girlfriend; I want to do it myself.

Dark-lord answers: I wasn't planning to.

10. From I'm_going_to_annoy_you: HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LOOK!

Dark-lord answers: F*** off Navi.

11. From Link's_eternal_Twilit_lover: Hee hee hee, I'm high on Helium at the moment, my voice sounds so funnay!

Dark-lord answers: Midna, Midna, Midna, you crazy Imp. **(A/N: Yes, this is Imp Midna)**

12. From XEmoMidnaX: Hey Ganon, just so you know there is an army of Mini-Midnas coming to kick your ass...

Dark-lord answers: Those Mini-Mids, getting everywhere. I must buy some repellent.

13. From Zora_Ruto_Kid: Ganon, can you e-mail Dark Saying I love him, I'm blocked from his list.

Dark-lord answers: No.

14. From: KingofShadow: By the way, when you were round last, you left your porno mag at mine, when should I deliver it?

Dark-lord answers: Like now, before the cops come.

15. From Midna Hytwilian: Um Ganondorf...do you know where my bathing suit is? I think I left it at your place when you had that party...whoops.

Dark-lord answers: Uh yeah, I've got it right here. I think the dog may have peed on it, but still. It's washable.

**And that is the end of Ganon. Midna next. Yay. I hoped you liked your reply, Midna Hytwilian. **


End file.
